I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you win again, gameday.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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