we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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