I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
