Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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