You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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