Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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