If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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