So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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