Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
