Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
