Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
