i need an iv and a liver transplant
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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