Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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