That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
