Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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