I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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