And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
