I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
