you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize