he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
