yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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