wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
