One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
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