Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
