That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
