Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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