3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
