drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
