I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
