wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It's just like the Real World with babies
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize