i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
