The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
