thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
