I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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