Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize