I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
