Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
