i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
