she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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