She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
