His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
