Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
