you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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