You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
