what if every blade of grass was a penis?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize