11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
