More tranny stories later!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
