You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
