maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
