There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
