I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
