"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
