if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
