D3 body, D1 cock
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I puked a lego.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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