I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
