I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize