Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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