whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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