I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Your dad touched me again.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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