I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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